rewind time

Ever wonder if you could rewind time? Like for example something bad happened, and how you wished that you could go back into the past, do something different, so that the bad incident would not have taken place. Or another contrasting example, something good happen! And how you hope that you can rewind time, go back to the past, and make the good thing happen over and over again, you just want to stay in the past, in the dream, not wanting to come back to reality. You want the time to stop for you, you want to enjoy life!

Sometimes I really wonder, if God gave us the ability to rewind time, won't we have a super blessed life? All the wrong decisions we made, we just go back to the past and adjust it.

Take for example, an incident that happened to me. I thought I could report to camp at 9am this morning due to some incidents that took place, but when I was leaving my house at 7.30am, my ns friend asked me where am I, and when I replied that I was still at bedok, I found out that I was supposed to report to camp at the usual time, 7am. I was super scared, as my camp is super far from my house. I immediately flagged a cab in a hurry and cab all the way down. Thank God, nothing happened to me although I was late.

When I was on the cab, I was really hoping that if I have the ability to rewind time back to yesterday, I could have advoided all the hassle and troubles.

But then again, if we have the ability to do it, will we still need God? Will we still need to rely on Him? I don't think so. Humans in nature are not perfect being, thats why we are below God, we need Jesus to die on the cross for us. The bible describe us as "sheep", and God is the sheperd. If you know how a sheep is like, you will certainly know that sheep is one of the most stupid and blur animals ever! Without a sheperd, a sheep is always lost, always will be preyed by wolfs.

I thank God that we don't have the ability to rewind time, or in that case, perfect being. Because of our imperfection, we can come to rely on God, we can rely on Holy Spirit to guide us, and we can experience God's abundance blessing and witness His faithfulness time and time again! And most importantly, we have a Father that will accept us for who we are, what we did. His unconditional love.

I believe in our life, nothing happens Coincidentally. Everything happens for a reason, whether whatever happen is good or bad. I will praise God for whatever happens in my life, if it is good, I will praise Him for His blessing and His love. If it is bad, I will still praise Him, for I know that He is moulding me, refining me, and His love that will be there for me. When something bad happen, I will praie God, for I know that if I rely on Him, God will lead me to victory, I will be able to witnessed His faithfulness again!

I should not have did something during my BMT time. Though it was just a simple conversation on the sms, it lead to much complicated stuff after that. It even came to a point where I was tempted to break the 2 years convenant I have with God. But God reminded me that He still remember the convenant that I have with Him. I turned back and focus on God. And God took away the distraction, took away the thoughts.

Though it is painful, and I really regretted doing what I did in my BMT, - how I wished I can get back to the past and do the right things! - I am praising God, I will still praise God! His faithfulness in my life and His care for me never fails. It is painful, but it is an awakening moment for me. God want me to honour the convenant, and I will do it. A lesson learned, but I will not trade anything else for this lesson, as God has used this lesson to remind me again that He want to be the first in my life.

My life is for You God, let Your glory shine on me.

REACTIVATE

Well so here I am, blogging again. Its been a while since I last blogged. When was the last post, 1 of dec 2008? That was before the time I was enlisted man. Too long. So for now, I will try my best to blog frequently, to give updates of what is happening in my life. Also, to share my thoughts and my view..

As everybody knows, I entered National Service on the 3rd of december. I have passed through BMT training, and have been posted to Armour camp, Sungei Gedhong. Today the date is 10 of june, I have already been serving NS for more then 6 months! Though it felt like I have served for 2 years already.. 448 days to ORD! The days are passing too slowly..

However through these 6 months, I have witnessed and encountered God's faithfulness in my life countless of times. I believed that I will continued to experience God's favour throughout the remaining of my NS period, and also the rest of my life! Yes! I declare it in the name of Jesus! Not because of what I did, or how good I am. No. Simply because of the fact that I am the son of the Highest King.

Well thats all for now. Will keep you guys posted. Ciao

Arise again, Unprofane (Hopefully)

Well its 1.51 am, and I am still not yet sleeping. 1 more days b4 i am enlist to tekong. So got to take live as casual as possible rite? Slack all I want, or else in there no more slacking liaoz.

Anyway I just talk to one of my buddy through the phone, and we have been talking about our dreams and visions for next year. What we have accomplish this year during 2008, and what we plan to hit next year. 2008 is really a breakthrough year to me, I came to know God better in many many ways and I love Him much more then I do in 2007. And more importantly, I come to a point, where i am much clearer of what God's will in my life is. I know where He wants me to go, and I will strive super hard for it. For my buddy too, he also have alot of breakthrough in his life, and I believe that he will be even better in 2009.

Back to our conversation through the phone, we came upon a topic again. This topic is about a dream we use to share, and work hard towards it. But then, it seems like God's hand seems to be against it. So after much prayer and consultation, we decided to stop it. But when we discuss it on the phone again, I felt that.. I don't know.. I am confused. Is it really God is against it? Or is it just another moulding, to bring us closer to our common dream?

I have no idea, neither does my other party. Guess I have to just keep praying, and if its God's will, then it will be done. But I do hope that it will be God's will. It will be much different.

Lets hope, with a hopeful heart.

battle

Our life is a battle, our whole life is a battle. One that will only end when we die, when we go to heaven and meet our creator. We fight to achieve what we want, we fight to defeat our weaknesses in life that is always pulling us down. We fight to win victory over the devil. We fight everyday. Everyday, when you wake up, its a new battle. And it only ends at night, when we fall into our sleep, when we rest for the next day battle. SO many things that we need to fight to achieve, so many things we need to pay the price to get it

But then, are we really fighting? How many of us have been slacking off, not daring to fight the dreams that we once had so passionately to achieve for God? How many of us have choose to lay low, lay low in our "bunker", waiting for this battle to pass? How many of us have choose to stand up for righteousness, for justice and take a stand? How many of us, are really going to live, before we die??

We can never win, if we don't fight. We can never achieve what we want, if we don't choose to fight our lazyness, fight our unconfidence, fight our "realistic" mindset, fight our slackness. We WILL never win, if we don't stand and declare War upon our enermy, our boundaries, our blockade.

Lets stand up, and be a true soilder of God, and lets win this war for God. Lets rely on His spirit, and glorify GOd by winning our life battles.

Simple life

Well, its really been a while since i last updated my blog. Really quite a long time, in fact. I will be starting the next phase of my life soon, a phase that will determine whether I am a man, or just a sissy. A phase that will help me get fitter, and of cause, slimmer.(finally) A phase that will last 2 long years! Yes.. National Service.. My enlistment date will be on the 3rd of December, which is like, super fast ya. Now is already 17 Oct, left 47 days, before I am ship to Tekong for training. Well in any case, like what my parents told me, faster go in, faster come out.

There will be a few things I will miss for sure. Firstly, my family. Won't be able to see them for quite sometimes. And then, I will miss my cell group. Don't know whether in Tekong will have time to book out on friday. And then also, my friends. Hopefully won't lose contact with you guys.. Lastly, My Handax and Yamaha.. which means MY ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND CLASSICAL GUITAR!!! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU GUYS!! SOB SOB...

-_-.. ok enough of that. Its just 2 pieces of wood with some metal strings. Anyway, come to the more serious thing. I believe that God will be with me throughout the whole ns years, yes for 2 years. I also believe that God will be my light and my guide, and His spirit will be with me, and whatever that I need to change will be changed. And also, I really Know that God's faithfulness never fail to amaze me. He will be there for me.. whether I am in Bmt, or field camp, or firing range, or unit. Bro and Sis in christ, please pray for me :

1) to have the endurance and also the strength to go through this phase, especially for BMT.
2) that God will give me the knowledge in my ns life, and I will be able to serve the army without heaps of troubles on my head.
3) that I will be able to meet good friends inside, and more importantly, bring them to Christ.
4) that my faith in Christ will not fall, that I will not be pull down by the Ns life, but I can be mould and refine by God through this process.
5) Let me influence the others around me, and not the other way round.

Thanks, I really need your prayer and support.

Anyway, what revolves around my life is these, firstly, of cause is God. Secondly, music. I hope that after ns I will be able to pursue fully after music, and live my life to the fullest. Thridly, my cell group. I know that God put me in this cell group. So I will do my best in doing what I can to contribute, and bring more people to christ.

That is all, I want to keep my life as simple and as focus as possible. Don't want to have too much distraction for these few years.

Lets live for God.

The Him - Her (part 2)

A lonely walk down this black road.. I can't see anything in front of me.. Where am I? I lookedaround, trying to judge where I am. This is neither the normal world, and it doesn't look like Hades, and I am 100% sure that this is not heaven.. There is just a flat landscape around me, with no trees or anything, and no one around. There is no color in this world, just greyness, like black and white mix together. Sort of like those oldies movies. Maybe this is the resting place people always said that the dead will go before judgment day? That is even better.. at least I am dead.. As what the Japanese will say, death is as light as a feather..when the wind blows, it just carry you away..

I am not feeling any fear, any happiness or any emotional.. just simple emptiness. Maybe that is how a dead person would be. No emotional, no nothing.

And then suddenly, "HEY!" a voice sounded from somewhere behind me, and then followed by a stream of light laughter. "You ignoring me now, huh?" another giggle.I turned around, towards the direction of where the voice is coming from, and my emptiness collapsed.

Clara

She was giggling at me, and her eyes were bright, like the morning stars. Her hair was silky straight, and softly dancing with the wind. She had a white dress on, and this time, she looked.. angelic. NO. She is definitely an angel! From heaven! Maybe I was in heaven! I ran towards her as fast as possible, and my emptiness was replace instantaneously by joy. PURE JOY. I have never been so joyful in my life before, and then suddenly, the greyness disappeared , and the world was suddenly full of color! More beautiful and more lively then what you get from HD tv. The sky is blue, the landscape is green!

When I finally reached her, I was panting softly. "Clara.. Clara.." I touched her hand. Once more, my emotional changes drastically. Happiness, gone.


Her hand was cold.. too cold.. and her skin is white.. too white, like those dead people kind. All of a sudden, the smile dissapeared, her eyes were no longer sparkling. Her expression was sad, too damn sad, fountain of tears was pouring out from her eyes.. again the surrounding changes back to greyness.. and this time, the wind picked up strongly, maybe a speed of Beaufort scale no 10. "why did you wreck our future.. why did you greed.. why did you do things without thinking.." she whispered softly..

"Clara, I can explain.. Please listen to me!" I pleaded. But it was as if she did not hear my pleading at all. She continue to cry, and her voice was getting louder, and louder.. like someone turning up the volume knob slowly.

"Why did you do things your own way? Why didn't you think of me when you make the decision.. Why? Why?" She was literally talking loudly now.

I tried to match her volume by shouting back" Please Clara, let me explain! I really -"

"WHY ARE YOU A JIERK! WHY DID YOU WREK THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WE WORKED SO HARD TO MAINTAIN??!" She bellowed. "I HATE YOU!"

I tried to run towards her, but she seems to be drifting away. I tried to run faster to cover up our distance, but I never seems to be able to keep up.

"CLARA! I AM SORRY! COME BACK! COME BACK!" I shouted with tears streaming down my eyes, She mean everything to me. "COME BACK COME BACK! " I shouted till my voice went hoarse.

And then, BLAM. I felt my face exploded in pain.

Song for my season now

Desert Song
This is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry
this is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice i will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life In every season You are still God
I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship