Secrets.. Oh Secrets

Everybody have secrets in them, that possibly no one will know, except yourself and God. Sometimes even your own friends, or your own brother and sister in christ, or your leaders, or even your blood releated family members don't know about the Secrets hidden deep in your heart. I admit it, I have some secrets that I am not willing to share with anyone, not even my closers brother. Its not that i don't trust them, but the fact is that these secrets can't be told, it is just.. forbidden. But there is one I felt that I should briefly share here, so as to release the pressure in my heart, and to release the door.

As I keep on growing in age, as I keep on maturing, I realise one of my biggest problem in my life is my weakness towards girls. Sometimes if a girl treat me too nice, I will have the thinking, I have the thought that, "hey maybe this girl is interested in me." And I will be day dreaming about the possibly between me and this girl, day dreaming of what will happen if we happen to get together. Though of cause, I am not so sensitive until an extent when the opposite sex talk to me I will fall for her, or when a girl is a good friend of mine. OF CAUSE NOT. Its just that sometimes this girl is really attractive.

The worst thing is that I will think that the girl like me too. Haha. It could even worsen till one point, where whatever the girl do will seems that she did it like she is interested in me. Like sometime she talk to me, or she look at me, I will be thinking"hey this girl talk to me this way, i think she like me too." You know? I will start to let my imagination runs wild, and it seems that everything she say to me will let me think that she like me too!

In these recent years, I have tell God that I do no want to have any girlfriend at this young age of mine. I have also never confess to the girl that I like her. But the problem is still there. All these thoughts will still be swirling in my mind. Its like, I will only be thinking about the romance and stuff like that, and thats all.

But! To be frank, this kind of problem only happen one or 2 times in these few years. And also thank God, it did not happen again.

This is a very frank Post. I want to realease this problem once and for all, and I do not want this kind of problem to bother me anymore. In 2008, I want this year to be a point of difference in my life. No more this stupid problem, I want to breakthrough... I will breakthrough.

Impatience

I really realize I am a very impatience guy.. I am impatience with God, impatience with people, impatience with lots and lots of things.

I felt that, if I really want to get closer to God then ever before, I need to tear off this impatience habit from my heart and toss it into the flame. In this 2008, I really want to love God more, I really want to know God better, I want to fullfill His dream for me, and I want to work with Him.

This 2008, I am going to tear down this impatience, and move upward, towards heaven.