I had sinned against You, so very often,
In the past, in the present, and probably in the future.
I havd disobey Your teaching, I had disregard Your word.
I had taken Your grace for granted, ignoring the love You always have for me.
But now, I come before with a heart of sorrow, a heart that feels out of place,
A heart of worries, a heart of despair.
But even of all the things i have done wrong, lust, proudness, boasting, lying, cheating,
You still accept me with open heart, with open arms, with unselfish love.
You remind me, "I am your God, I had died for you, and I will always love you, no matter what..
The price I paid on the cross is for you, and I will always be with you."
You told me to come to You again, just to worship you.
Oh Almighty God! All the things under heaven belongs to You!
You do not own any people anything. There is no God that is as powerful as You, Jesus.
There is no enermy that You cannot defeat, there is no man that can go against will.own
And of course, there is no cold hearted heart that You can't break, like mine.
But yet of all the people in this world, You have chosen me to be Your child.
You have given me the everlasting life, You have given me Your word.
The most precious things of all, You have given me Your love,
You have find a home for my heart.
So now, Jesus, let me live a life that will be pleasing to You!
So now, Holy Spirit, let my life to be in Your guidance.
So now, let me be alive for You!
I will not only spend quality time with You,
But I will spread Your love to people, I will apply Your teaching to my life.
I will Do my best, live out the dream You have put in my heart, and Glorify Your Glorious name.
Most impt thing, I commit my heart to You. Let my heart be always commited to You, let my heart always love You!
If my heart is away from You, then let my heart be broken. Let my heart be 无家可归, until this heart of mine find peace in Your love again..
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The Him - Her
It was raining so lightly, it can even be consider to be a drizzle. Yet, in his heart, it was far more then a drizzle. A thunderstorm was raging in his heart, a storm that he cannot calm, a storm that he can't escape. Hell.. What the heck is going on??! why is it that I am facing this kind disaster? The Stranger, thats what he called him self. He don't even know who he is anymore. He can't seems to see what is his purpose in life.. even though there is a thunderstorm in him, after the thunderstorm pass, what remains will just be a empty space in his heart. I am stuck, rite? Stuck in this stupid life.. walking in circles.. He stop in front of the SK jewellery shop, looking at reflection on the display glass. His reflection told him that he came from the henchman tribe. His hair was long and curly, his face was unshaved, unkempt. He look like he haven't slept in 3 days time. The truth is, its 1 week, to be exact. Suddenly, the necklace at the back of the display cabin drew his attention. He can no longer hold back the tears that have been wanting to come out for a long time. The dam broke, and the tears came rushing out, the source of the tears? A broken heart..
3 years ago, He and Clara met in a birthday party of someone they don't really know. They were invited to this party, held in a big private estate. Peter,the son of this rich man throw this party. A cocky fellow, he always manage to look at someone with that kind of eyes, that can easily get him into trouble if he happens to be in a nowadays secondary school. He will already will have been dead outside, if his dad did not save his sorry ass everytime the cocky son get into trouble with his bride and $$$ . The Stranger only know Peter like how he know Jay Chou. Thats all. He knew the reason why he was invited to this party was because Peter like his birthday party to be big, to show his popularity in the school. So The Stranger was a last min stow in. He had no choice but to come, or else his school life will be turned upside down by Peter's man. He walk around the pool, wondering how long this party will last. There were laughter all around. Loud Techno music boom out from the mega speaker. The Stranger walk towards the table to grap a beer. No need to save for peter. He is filthy rich. The Stranger was just about to grab that can of beer, when he realize his right hand was not touching the can, but in fact was touching another left hand. He look at the hand, then at the owner of that hand. Clara. Both of them look at each other in the eye. Its sort of a fate. Whats yours is yours. Deep in his heart, The Stranger thought, She is mine!
One week later, The stranger and Clara were going to school together. 3 wks later, they were going out for a date. 3 mnths later, they were "offically" together, why? because He is holding her hand, finger locking style. 1 year later, they were over the moon. kisses started to come in. Why not? 2nd year, they graduate from college. The stranger pursue a full time career in the govt service, While Clara got into a full time housing agent. Both of them are planning to develop in their career, ready to conquer the world. And then, get married. Simple and easy.
Just that it wasn't so easy. He was really excelling in his job, earning big bucks every month. However, because of greed, because money is the root of evil to all mankind, which is probably more or less true, He become corrupted. In a Govt job, it is easy to make big moneys, just close one eye on the bosses in the Mafia gangster group, let them go, and easily the group will be grateful, and repay Him with lots of thanks, in the form of $1000 notes, lots of them. He quickly became rich overnight. Of course, Clara doesn't know. However, the internal affairs dept happen to know, The Stranger was fired immediately, with charges of corruption and mal practiceawaiting to be drop onto him like a bomb in the court, awaiting to wreck his future. Everything starts to fall from here. His family disown their own son. His friend treat him like a total stranger.
And Clara.. Oh Clara! Clara broke up with him soon, returning the necklace that He had brought for her during the first year of their relationship. "I don't know how to continue this relationship anymore, I am sorry. I need to leave you. You let me down too much" Clara look into his eye and said those exact words, cutting into his heart with those cold-eyes, and those words.. especially the last 6 words..
"ah... ah....! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" WHY DID I DO THOSE THINGS?! WHY DID I WRECK UP MY FUTURE MYSELF??!! He bang his head into the display glass. The glass shattered, The Stranger was cut on his forehead by the glass, but he felt no pain. Blood was gashing out from the deep cut on his forehead. A few people scream and shouted. The Stranger grab a woman nearby, "Why are you screaming??!! I ALREADY HATE MY SELF SO MUCH! SHUT THE HELLL UP" He shouted, dripping blood all over the woman.
"Sir, let go of the woman !" one of the 2 security guard who have just arrive on the site.
"SHut the HELL up!" HE shouted! THEy don understand me, do they?!!!
"LET GO OF THE WOMAN N-"
"I SAY SHUT UP!" he is till holding onto the woman, restraining her from running away. I am losing my nerve rite?
Just then the other guard, who is smarter alot then the one that keep screaming, knock Him off his feet. The stranger fell face first, and then the world start to fades into darkness..
3 years ago, He and Clara met in a birthday party of someone they don't really know. They were invited to this party, held in a big private estate. Peter,the son of this rich man throw this party. A cocky fellow, he always manage to look at someone with that kind of eyes, that can easily get him into trouble if he happens to be in a nowadays secondary school. He will already will have been dead outside, if his dad did not save his sorry ass everytime the cocky son get into trouble with his bride and $$$ . The Stranger only know Peter like how he know Jay Chou. Thats all. He knew the reason why he was invited to this party was because Peter like his birthday party to be big, to show his popularity in the school. So The Stranger was a last min stow in. He had no choice but to come, or else his school life will be turned upside down by Peter's man. He walk around the pool, wondering how long this party will last. There were laughter all around. Loud Techno music boom out from the mega speaker. The Stranger walk towards the table to grap a beer. No need to save for peter. He is filthy rich. The Stranger was just about to grab that can of beer, when he realize his right hand was not touching the can, but in fact was touching another left hand. He look at the hand, then at the owner of that hand. Clara. Both of them look at each other in the eye. Its sort of a fate. Whats yours is yours. Deep in his heart, The Stranger thought, She is mine!
One week later, The stranger and Clara were going to school together. 3 wks later, they were going out for a date. 3 mnths later, they were "offically" together, why? because He is holding her hand, finger locking style. 1 year later, they were over the moon. kisses started to come in. Why not? 2nd year, they graduate from college. The stranger pursue a full time career in the govt service, While Clara got into a full time housing agent. Both of them are planning to develop in their career, ready to conquer the world. And then, get married. Simple and easy.
Just that it wasn't so easy. He was really excelling in his job, earning big bucks every month. However, because of greed, because money is the root of evil to all mankind, which is probably more or less true, He become corrupted. In a Govt job, it is easy to make big moneys, just close one eye on the bosses in the Mafia gangster group, let them go, and easily the group will be grateful, and repay Him with lots of thanks, in the form of $1000 notes, lots of them. He quickly became rich overnight. Of course, Clara doesn't know. However, the internal affairs dept happen to know, The Stranger was fired immediately, with charges of corruption and mal practiceawaiting to be drop onto him like a bomb in the court, awaiting to wreck his future. Everything starts to fall from here. His family disown their own son. His friend treat him like a total stranger.
And Clara.. Oh Clara! Clara broke up with him soon, returning the necklace that He had brought for her during the first year of their relationship. "I don't know how to continue this relationship anymore, I am sorry. I need to leave you. You let me down too much" Clara look into his eye and said those exact words, cutting into his heart with those cold-eyes, and those words.. especially the last 6 words..
"ah... ah....! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" WHY DID I DO THOSE THINGS?! WHY DID I WRECK UP MY FUTURE MYSELF??!! He bang his head into the display glass. The glass shattered, The Stranger was cut on his forehead by the glass, but he felt no pain. Blood was gashing out from the deep cut on his forehead. A few people scream and shouted. The Stranger grab a woman nearby, "Why are you screaming??!! I ALREADY HATE MY SELF SO MUCH! SHUT THE HELLL UP" He shouted, dripping blood all over the woman.
"Sir, let go of the woman !" one of the 2 security guard who have just arrive on the site.
"SHut the HELL up!" HE shouted! THEy don understand me, do they?!!!
"LET GO OF THE WOMAN N-"
"I SAY SHUT UP!" he is till holding onto the woman, restraining her from running away. I am losing my nerve rite?
Just then the other guard, who is smarter alot then the one that keep screaming, knock Him off his feet. The stranger fell face first, and then the world start to fades into darkness..
All I can remember..
断了的旋
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