This is an nick I put up on my Msn 2 years before. During in that point of time, i sort of like a girl. She is really very attractive, i believe i am not the only victim.. haha.. so during that time, i was really under alot of trial and difficulties, why? Because firstly, i know that its not God's will for me to like this girl. And secondly, i think this is the reason that is the most hurtful, i guess i like the girl, and she don't like me.
But GOd is merciful, and release me from this temptation. I no longer have any feeling for this girl anymore.. for half a year..
Until last year, this thing came back, and find that my heart is cleanse, and unguarded, so it came and live in my heart again... I am been too slack on my heart and my spiritual life, too soft on myself, take God for granted too much. And right now, I am facing this problem again, the same girl, the same problem.. Its really a big hole in my life.
Deep in my heart, I know that i can never be with this girl, and worse, deep in my heart i know that i can never please God with this problem in my life. It will stuck my life, stuck my relationship with God, stuck my dreams my passion.
Of couse its not the girl fault, i think she doesn't even know about this problem that is in my life, she doesn't know that i have feeling for her.
COme to think of it, its quite silly don't you think? So immature for me to have this kind of feeling. Its really wasting too much time already..
So Here I come before God, I want to stop thinking about this thing, this feeling that i fanatasize myself. Enough is enough. I shall not want this problem anymore. I will breakthrough.
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